A few days ago, I diligently detailed for you the correct procedure for making pavlova for a German. Some of you might have noted that the recipe made three little pavlovas, and yet the German and I are only two. (Two people, that is. Not two pavlovas. I’m certainly not calling myself a pavlova, for while I wouldn’t mind being associated with sweetness, I’d hate to be called hollow inside with a chewy bottom.)
Wow. My mind just went to a really scary image-place. Enough of that. Here’s my detailed timeline for how to eat pavlova like Wayfaring Chocolate.
Once upon a time, there was a caramelised pineapple with lemon sorbet dessert at Flint restaurant in Canberra. “Once upon a time” in the sense of “over a year ago” and “has nothing to do with this post”, but shhh. I won’t tell if you won’t.
8:30am: Wake up, buoyed by the fact that at the doctor’s surgery yesterday, you were told to come back in a week’s time, rather than twice weekly as has been the case for the past two months.
8:32am: Look at problem toe and feel heart fall. (I know this isn’t a gory-injuries blog so I’ll avoid going into details, but let’s just say there was a stain of something that rhymes with “glood” on the bandage.)
8:35am: Call doctor’s surgery. Make another appointment, knowing that they probably think you’re a hypochondriac.
9am – 2pm: Alternate marking essays, staring out the window, trying to resist urge to draw on own face with a pen, bursting into spontaneous fragments of angsty Alanis Morisette songs (Ooooo-oooooh, this could get mess-sssssyyyyyy, but you-ooooooo don’t seem to miiiii-iiind), eating, and bursting into spontaneous fragments of that popular recent song you love (I’d like to make myself be-lieeeeeeeeve that planet Eaaaaaaarth tuuuuuuuuurns slooooooooowly). And marking essays. Did I mention the essays? Because there are more of them coming this afternoon.
Once upon a time etc etc pine nut, feta and roasted pumpkin salad at Flint restaurant etc etc won’t tell if you won’t etc etc.
2:30pm: Slink into doctor’s surgery, where your normal nurse is really ever so kind. She looks at toe, and starts talking about more surgery. Yes, that would be the third round of surgery in less than a year.
2:40pm: Male doctor who is not your actual doctor ambles into room (and I mean ambles. Hands-in-pockets, pelvis-out, shoulders-back, King-Of-The-Domain…) and starts talking in medical jargon, the gist of which seems to be “doesn’t need surgery”.
2:45pm: Nurse pulls out a long grey implement that looks like a giant matchstick and applies silver nitrate to your toe. (I wonder if I’ll make metal detectors go off now? Or if I’ll be lying if I yell “I’m not made of money, you know!” when people ask me to “spare a dollar for the bus cuz” at the interchange?)
3pm onwards: Drive to parents’ place. INTERNET! (I mean, visit my mum.)
Pavolva prong!
6pm: Arrive home. See lone pavlova in clear Tupperware container above the microwave. Look into pantry of healthy, wholesome dinner ingredients. Look back at lone pavlova in clear Tupperware container above the microwave.
6:01pm: Look into pantry.
6:02pm: Look at pavlova.
6:03pm: Look into pantry.
6:04pm: Reach for pavlova-containing Tupperware container. Open, slip pavlova onto plate.
6:05pm: Look at punnet of strawberries.
6:06pm: Look at packet of chocolate chips.
6:07pm: Look at punnet of strawberries.
6:08pm: Look at packet of chocolate chips.
6:09pm: Open packet of chocolate chips, but decide to make a tacit nod towards “health” by using natural yogurt instead of cream as the intermediary between sugar and sugar.
Ta-daa!
6:10pm: Construct pavlova.
6:20pm: Decide that the use of natural yogurt was inspired, as the tang plays off the super-sweetness of the meringue base brilliantly. Wish there was more. More of everything.
7pm: Realise you should feel guilty about eating pavlova for dinner, and so get off sofa with a sigh and put together a bowl of whole-wheat couscous, chickpeas, baby peas, tahini, and lemon juice.
7:15pm onwards: Watch SeaChange with housemate for the rest of the night because you’re both sick of election talk. (LAURA. How could you ever think Warwick could beat out Max? Nononononono. Don’t you remember the way Max replied with “You, I think”, when you asked him what he wanted, in episode one of season three? You silly woman.)
The end.
And that, my friends, is how you eat pavlova like Wayfaring Chocolate.
Desperate times deserves desperate actions my friend
I mean for goodness sake…., you’d just survived a near miss with the threat of another round of toe surgery, how upsetting would that have been 
Sadly I’m not out of the woods in that regard, so I might have to bake up a huge batch of meringues for panic-pavlova, just in case…
there is nothing worse than a gammy toe, everytime you walk or stand you are reminded of it.
Why why my stupid gravatar work, jezzus!
For over a year. Ugh.
Ouch! That toe sounds painful
Pavlova was deserved and the nutritional benefits of that yoghurt made it a completely healthy and worthwhile dinner in my opinion!
Hurrah! It was a complete and balanced meal after all, ze internets say so!
wow, I’m so impressed – what an experience!
That’s one way of looking at it – thanks!
I always knew it was internet-love!
Sometimes you’re nice to talk to as well, though.
Oh no! not YBT still – I thought it was under control. I’m sure that 7 p.m. dinner must do it some good too just as the pavlova did your heart good.
Nope, not yet – I hope YLT is treating you better! And yes, that’s a good way of looking at it – one dinner for the soul, another for the toe!
that looks so dang good!
Thanks, it tasted pretty fine too
Ouch! I am sorry about your foot. The hubby had to have surgery on his a couple years back as he dropped a trailer on it. No fun!
Gosh, that sounds terrible! Although I wish I’d done something as spectacular as dropping an entire trailer on my foot. That’s an awesome story, at the very least!
The final post in this series needs to combine all we’ve learnt so far…. “HOW TO EAT PAVLOVA LIKE A GERMAN.”
But I’m all out of pavlova! OH NOES! Continuity fail!
It’s okay, I can imagine how a German would eat pavlova…methodically and efficiently and humourlessly, with an eye to world domination. And also possibly while wearing lederhosen. That’s pretty much spot-on, right!?
My version from earlier tonight is far less exciting:
“How To Eat Korean Barbecue Like Lauren”:
6:30 : Ask for (2) pork bellies and (1) bulgogi beef with vegetables.
6:31 : Nod apologetically when waitress says, “No, no! Three more? Four more? Three is not enough! Seafood pancake? Kimchi chigae?”
6:32 : Immediately order three more dishes just so the intimidating waitress will leave.
I’m on the waitress’ side. How on earth could you go to a Korean restaurant and not order a kimchi dish? Sure, you get some free at the beginning, but we’re talking a whole dish revolving around kimchi. What were you thinking?
P.S. I asked your question about OpenSky shipping internationally (great question) and they said they intend to do that but it might be several months (I think they said maybe 9 months). Thanks!
Oooh, that’s exciting! I foresee brokeness in 9 months!
L-Izzle: That’s so incredibly non-PC I’m actually speechless. Amazing. ((This German has quite a good sense of humour, actually, although there’s a slight chance I told him that, what with our current government situation, now might be a good time for Germany to invade. If they so chose.))
Oh, and here I thought that you normally ate chocolate for dinner! :p
You’re so close, BFF. I generally eat my chocolate about an hour before dinner, so my taste buds and appetite are on the ball
Ugh. Marking. It does my head in. I seem to have somehow gotten out of tutoring any units this semester, and I’m hoping if I keep out of sight I won’t get roped into doing any marking for anyone. I’m quite good at slinking around, unless, say, a pavlova were to appear from somewhere. Then the jig would be up!
Oooh, so I know how to flush you out if you ever decide to turn hermit. Pavlova! So far, this marking is less soul-destroying, as my own students seem to be more on the ball than the students from the other uni. However, it’s taking me a lot longer, because I’m spending more time on comments because I need to face these students afterwards!
“Hollow inside with a chewy bottom” – hehe!
I’m still looking forward to hearing more about the pavlova-eating German… ;]
Yep, it’s a pretty soul-destroying self-description, isn’t it? And I’ll try to write soon – just pretty taken over with marking right now!
shame you didn’t have some crunchie rocks on hand – that would have been excellent! I did think that there was room enough for both choc chips and strawberries on the pav – kept waiting for the strawberries to appear and suddenly it was the end of the post – but am enthused at the idea of yoghurt on pav – have you tried king island honey and cinnamon yoghurt – or it that getting away from the token health gesture
*laughs* You’re right, I probably could have added the strawberries too, but I’ve never liked the combination of strawberries and chocolate. The number of times I’ve tried choc-dipped strawbs and then regretted it… That King Island yogurt is fantastic, though I haven’t had it in ages! Might be a bit rich for this application, though. I needed something not-at-all sweet to counter the pavlova’s sweetness
Ah, that song…I love that song! And the music video is so cute and awesome! And I need sleep (sad because it is only just 8pm and I’ve been wanting to go to bed since about 1:30 this afternoon).
And Diver Dan? Sigh…
My emotions are being torn at the moment. I’m halfway through season 1 (Diver Dan) with my mum, and halfway through season 3 (Max) at home. I don’t know how to feel or who to love more….
Hmmm, I’m definitely a Diver Dan girl all the way…
But Max’s eyes… they’re like the window to MY soul….
love the story telling of the saga