Despite my proclivities towards dark and often unadulterated chocolate, sometimes a girl jist cain’t say no to a candy bar that promises a sugary high. Such was the case with the following two bars, and as has happened before, I found myself enjoying what I thought would be forgettable and being incredibly disappointed by what I had thought would be fantastic.
Sometimes the life of a chocolate reviewer is traumatic.
Jokerz Candy Bar
Yes, that's my hotel bedspread as the backdrop. I'm classy that way.
The Jokerz Candy Bar is made by Go Max Go, a vegan family-owned business that creates vegan versions of several popular candy bars.
With its caramel, peanuts, nougat, and “rice-milk chocolatey coating”, the Jokerz is the vegan version of Snickers. After my experience with the Crispy Cat, I must admit to not having high hopes for this vegan candy bar.
More fool me! Sure, the Jokerz is incredibly, mind-bogglingly sweet, but it works. There’s a depth to the sweetness that was missing from the cloying one-note Crispy Cat. The Jokerz caramel is softer, glossier, and grainier than the dairy-laden Snickers version, but it also has a unique and distinct floral fruitiness on its side.
I Spy With My Little Eye... a peanut!
The nougat has a nice maltiness and the “chocolatey-coating” sufficies, though admittedly does not have any discernable cocoa notes of its own. The only disappointment is the peanuts, which are few and far between and have a too-subtle raw flavour. I couldn’t help wishing the peanuts contributed a stronger roasted nuttiness, but the caramel and nougat were interesting enough on their own.
However, for a [very sweet] candy bar, this really hit the spot.
Trader Joe’s PB & J Bar
So full of promise.
Oh, Trader Joe’s. How could you lie to me so? You promised peanut butter, milk and dark chocolate, raspberry jam and, most excitingly of all, potato chips:
The excitement builds.
Lucky me? Lucky me? I ask you, Trader Joe’s, where is the dark chocolate? By raspberry jam, do you mean the millimetre thick piece of rubber that, when dissected from the rest of the bar, tasted faintly of fruit roll ups? And where are my potato chips, with their salty and crunchy goodness? Where?
The crushing blow.
I see no dark chocolate. I see no potato chips. And worse, nor do I taste them. Even your peanut butter description is almost a falsehood. I accept that the texture of your filling has that same beautiful smoothness found inside a Lindor truffle. But you have presented me with the lamest and vaguest excuse for peanut butter flavour in the (my) history of candy.
You ought to be ashamed of yourself, Trader Joe’s. And if it weren’t for the fact that I love your bran muffins and your dark chocolate almonds with turbinado sugar and sea salt, I would never darken your doorway again.
I am utterly confused by those Trader Joe’s bars. They are completely unreliable. It looks like yours has virtually no jam in it.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/typetive/3915011230/
The good thing is that I have returned lots of stuff to TJ’s before, even empty packages and they give a refund. (Well, the empty package was for a very bad chicken that I didn’t think they wanted in their store any more than I wanted it in my oven.)
That’s a shame about the Trader Joe’s bar . . . I’ve never gotten around to trying the peanut butter and jelly bars, but they always looked worth trying. It seems like it’s either a hit or miss with Trader Joe’s chocolate.
truly, this breaks my heart. so much wasted potential.
Oh dear! That Trader Joe’s bar had SUCH promise!
And I think I can see the sugar crystals in the Jokerz bar 
Cybele: I’m flabbergasted by your photo! I can’t even understand how the huge difference between our bars is possible. Surely they’re machine made – how is it that you could get such a thick layer of jam and I get almost nothing? Also, judging from your review, yours had a bit more taste to it too!
Sadly I’m not longer near a Trader Joe’s, but thanks for the tip – I had no idea they had an easy return system. Also, thanks for popping by my blog
Deanna: Yes, I think I’m going to stick to Trader Joe’s “chocolate-covered …” products from now on – at least you can see them through the clear packaging and have a rough idea of whether it’s going to be hit or miss or not!
L-Izzle: Um… maybe yours will be better, like Cybele’s..?! I’m sorry! I sent one to you before I tried it myself, back when it looked like it would be right up your/my/our alley! (Please don’t hit me.)
Lorraine: Teehee, you have eyesight like a superhero
But you’re actually right! The caramel looks like it tastes – pure sugar with maybe just a touch of floral honey 
Ohhh awesome!!!!!! hahaha, truly, I am still INCREDIBLY keen to try it! I will, of course, take cross-sectioned photos for your viewing pleasure. For..uhh..research purposes. Of course.
Oh, relief! I’ll actually be really interested to know what yours is like – there seem to be vastly different bars/opinions on the Internet, so you can chime in here with your view on my blog!
P.S. My package to myself just arrived at home, apparently, so you can go get your Firecracker bar whensoever you choose! Win!
It *sounds* amazing, shame it was a disappointment! I may just have to recreate something similar in my kitchen, because the idea of potato chips + pb&j + chocolate is strangely intriguing.
Theresa: Oh, please do! And please let me know when you do, if I don’t find myself automatically and subconsciously drawn to whatever delicious concoction you come up with
Of course, we could always just get a few good quality pieces of bread, fill it with peanut butter, jam, dark chocolate and potato chips, fry it, and call it the vegan Elvis sandwich!
I’ve never liked the whole peanut butter and chocolate thing. I do love every other sort of nut with chocolate, but really, really dislike peanut and chocolate, so much so that I don’t bother trying it any more. So these two products wouldn’t really tempt me. I guess the first one shows that you can’t always judge a book (or a chocolate bar) by it’s cover, whilst that second one confirms it! The only thing worse than peanut butter and chocolate, would be to dollop some jam in! And then to add chips??? OMG, what were they thinking, lets juts try and get as many empty calories as possible? I think the wrapper gives it away, they’re trying to please all the people all the time (“you have it all, sweet and salty, smooth and crunchy”), and well you just can’t do that. I think I’d put that one up with the deep fried Mars Bar category, too awful to contemplate, but so awful you need to try it. It reminds me of my pre-blogging travels around America by Greyhound Bus, and somewhere in the mid-west the waitress just couldn’t understand that I didn’t want any strawberry jam with my eggs on toast.
Oh Louise, don’t tell me our tastes diverge! Horror!
Though in all honesty, you can barely taste the peanut in the Jokerz (oh how I dislike having to write that “z”)!
Have you ever tried a deep-fried Mars Bar? I think it probably is one of those things you really have to try if you get the opportunity, yet as someone who went through a stage (years back) of microwaving every candy bar before eating it, I feel I’ve almost experienced what it’s all about…
The American trait of adding super sweet things to savoury meals is a bit disconcerting at first! Since coming to appreciate the salt + sweet combination I logically understand where it’s coming from, yet in my heart I want my maple syrup and pancakes unmarred by bacon and my sweet potatos untouched by marshmallows when they’re served alongside roast turkey and beans.
First, bacon and maple is one of the world’s greatest flavor combinations. Breakfast sausage is also almost always better with a little syrup for dipping.
Second, I love Trader Joe’s with all my heart, but it’s true that their stuff can be hit-and-miss. Either it’s outrageously good (and cheap) or simply unfathomably, inexplicably bad. (That’s a lot of adverbs in a row. Sorry.)
Croquecamille: So are you the reason why this exists? http://jimmydean.com/products/default.aspx?postid=265
This is actually the first time Trader Joe’s has ever failed me. I’m still reeling. Also, one can never have too many extraneous tautological adjectives!
Oh, dear God, no.
I’m writing this here so that should you, in years from now, need an archive of all comments on this bar, it’ll be in the one handy-dandy location.
I am devouring this as we speak. I wanted to get you a cross section photo but mine obviously melted/reformed into a shape bearing little resemblance to its former self.
But I can tell you several things:
1. Definitely coated in dark chocolate. Definitely. Not incredibly brilliant dark chocolate, but definitely dark chocolate nonetheless.
2. Thick, thick, bitable layer of jam. Like, at least seven times the amount in yours.
3. No potato chip bits that I could identify, but I suspect they might have got lost/dissolved in the melting process.
All in all, good. Yummy. None of the individual elements were of a particularly high standard, but it worked well together and I appreciate the fact that somebody went to the effort of creating it!
What?! I completely do not understand this. I bought yours and mine at exactly the same time, from the very same box at the front counter of Trader Joe’s. Oh, they are so lucky they don’t have a store in Charlottesville right now, or I would march my cranky self down there
On the upside, very glad that you enjoyed it! That’s all that matters in the end, really.
Yeah, it is seriously bizarre. Mine probably had more in common with Cybele’s, but with a MUCH thicker coating of chocolate. Truly baffling. I’d be very interested to see what other people’s have been like.
I’ve just experimented with making my own, though I opted for a slice instead of a chocolate bar. (Posted on my blog.) I love the combination of flavours!
Theresa, you are amazing! I cannot begin to express how excited I am by your post and recipe
I so wish I could have a slice, soggy chips and all!
I think your idea of switching up the layering sounds a good one… I’m trying to think of other options, but apart from some sort of El Bulli-style deconstruction and rebuilding of the chips into a “foodstuff” resistant-to-moisture, I’m struggling!